he is the deliverer.

I’ve begun to realize that I’ve used Jesus as a lotion to make my callused hands soft, scissors to cut my wandering hair, or cologne to override any odor. I’ve claimed him as a mask to shut out others or an excuse to jump in forbidden waters. I’ve been pushing limits, skewing lines, and lurking at my neighbors’ doors to catch some luring scents and captivating images. It’s awfully simple—I sought my own gain, self-advancing to the end, using everyone and everything to get.

The greatest irony of it all is grace, which teaches me a lesson with the downside of every step I’m taking away from Christ. Grace abounds in my darkest times, and I have ignored it often. In times of deception and shame, I am driven farther and farther from Christ, as if running would justify my guilty feelings. Yet I smile to a waving passerby, people at church, or my mom.

A few peaceful days will show me just how much Jesus reward those who follow him—step by step. But also, they show me how wildly I lived, like a drinking cowboy—only in spirit. But in the end how much worse would I be if I was a partying cowboy than a pure oxymoron claiming Christ as my “Wonderful Savior”?

“Oh God, You are my God. And I will ever praise you! I will seek You in the morning, and I will learn to walk in Your ways. And step by step You’ll lead me, and I will follow You all of my days.” My heart should echo these words. If I step toward the goal, I should continue toward that goal, and not quit after the first fall—or the second. And I should seek Him every day.

He is the deliverer.