havin some fun.

Well this has been the longest pause between blogs in a few weeks now. But I’ll prolly have more and more to right about now that I’ve been able to collect it all over the past few days.

Spring break has really been a good opportunity to exercise my recently-developed “fun loving” side that I just cant seem to escape from anymore. Seems like some people have been taking it as quite a change, but I haven’t really felt too changed inside. I think I really am just a fun-loving guy, I just let things get in the way oftentimes and I don’t emerge and love fun again for months and months.

Haha, like I was saying, I’ve been getting some weird comments from people like “wow, you’re in a weird mood today” and stuff like that. Like I said in a previous blog, I am ready to open up to people again, and I think exercising my inside feelings when I’m around friends is the best way to start. Those feelings just tend to be really “joyful” right now I guess.

You know, with planning my future on my hands right now and me sitting here staring at it, I’m feeling more and more scared inside. Not ‘scared’ as in “terrified” or anything, but I’m not ready to go off and get a job and not really be a kid any longer. I’m gonna have to start stacking responsibilities on my back you know? I think it’s a desperateness to be a kid AS LONG AS I POSSIBLY CAN that’s making me so “fun-loving”. And I really don’t know why my attitude is jazzing me so much beside this—having fun just mean something different to me than it used to, and I don’t want it to go away.

I remember how I used to have fun at school and everything. There were some days that I would just feel really free and I’d ask and do random things that came to my mind because freedom felt so overwhelmingly good. Those days didn’t come too often, but I remember when they did those were some of the best days I had hanging out with Jenny in class and everything.

I know people like my fun-loving side a lot, and I don’t blame them. I guess I’ve really realized that I act a lot like a kid in one of my stories who’s always grim about everything that people tell him, he hangs out alone, and he is never happy.

Well I hope this entry may find you all well. I look forward to enjoying your company.