magazine

Well school today was good and boy am I glad… I had this dream in the middle of the night last night that everyone would be all moody and crabby today. Well, half of it ended up true, but then again, Mrs. Henderson is ALWAYS crabby and ALWAYS mad. Oh great, and I have a chemistry quiz tomorrow that I am almost certain I’m gonna fail.

Well, I “explored the separate worlds at school” today (as I had planned). I figured out (basically) how some things are working between everyone at school. However, I don’t really know the details of most. Of course I and everyone else (who knows what I am talking about) have seen the evident split in “the group”. I think it’s a healthy thing, and I’m glad everyone’s not still convinced that they need to try to all stay together and be happy as one group; it caused a lot of fighting and it was difficult to stand at times.

I’m trying to figure out what I should do now… there’s two halves. It reminds of the lyrics to a Pedro the Lion song:

“This line is metaphysical
And on the one side (on the one side)
The good bad half live in wickedness
And on the other side (on the other side)
The good half live in arrogance
And it’s a steep slope
With a short rope
This line is metaphysical
And there’s a steady flow,
Moving to and fro.”

“Oh look, you’ve earned your wings
Are you an angel now? Or a vulture?
Constantly hovering over
Waiting for a big mistake
Oh my God, what have I done?
Oh my God, what have I done?”

“Wouldn’t you love to be
On the cover of a magazine?
Healthy skin, perfect teeth
Designed to hide what lies beneath.
What lies beneath.”

“I feel the darkness growing stronger
As you cram light down my throat.
How does that work out for you
In your holy quest to be above reproach?”

“Wouldn’t you love to be
On the cover of a magazine?
Healthy skin, perfect teeth
Designed to hide what lies beneath.
What lies beneath.”

Now, things at school aren’t exactly like THAT. David Bazaan was probably coming from a MUCH COLDER position when he wrote it. But there IS the basic tug from both ends. Live with people who are true to you, but not necessarily the most moral; OR live with people who lie to you, but are at least doing right. Truth is, lying is immoral, so both sides ARE IMMORAL, but I guess I am just trying to figure out which one would have a better influence on me.

Would I be influence more harmfully in subtle sins or in outright sins? I guess it doesn’t really matter if sin IS sin (reminds me of Noel calling herself a homo this morning… oh my gosh…). I guess I shouldn’t put myself in the presence of sin. But that leaves me with one question? Who do I hang out with at school? NO ONE? Oh well, guess I’ll ask some more people…