rubberneckers.

I’ve gotten the message about spending time doing my own thing lately. Seems like sometimes we’ll just sit back, saying, “wow, it’s been a while since I read anything and learned. And it’s been a while since I’ve given God a few good words or so,” but no more thought will go towards it after we’ve admitted it to everyone and they’ve admitted it to us. Do we just get justification from knowing it’s everyone’s same problem too? I guess I have before. Seems like I haven’t put much thought toward that either.

I guess that might be why things never seem to get very far off the ground in that area for me. I mean, honestly, it’s not as if reading the Bible is what God wants us to sit around and do with our whole lives. But still, I’m sure it deserves a few more reads than it gets from me. And I’m sure I need to give it a few more reads. I think perhaps if I had consulted God on more events of late, so much confusion would not have plagued me.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve been running away from home and watching the house shrink behind me faster than I had expected as I look over my shoulder every minute and a half. Then nightfall reaches me and I feel so pointlessly foolish for having left home in the first place. There’s nothing for me outside of home.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

I’ve continually been getting complaints from people about other people, and it really didn’t bug me until the other day when I discovered everyone’s “new subject” was me and the spectacle I had made of Jenny and myself. I don’t know who was leaking the word to EVERYONE, but quite literally enraged me. I guess I didn’t mind all the gossip until it was concentrated on me. And it was concentrated on me, I was somehow the enemy of all of it, and I really don’t think there was relevance to “who was wrong and who was right” when I said what I said and she did what she did.

So you can imagine the comments I got from some people, but you probably couldn’t imagine my replies. I don’t think I’d been so down right harsh to people in a while. I chewed Chris out, and I don’t feel bad about it. He knowsnothing of what went on, and what goes on inside me at any time for that matter. He and the rest of those kids need to mind their own business, and I purposely avoided the rest of them on Sunday so as to not explode any fuller.

Rubberneckers.