pseudo sadism of the human confidence.

Hey. School’s working out alright. Things could be better. I’m more than ready for Christmas break although we kinda just came out of Thanksgiving break only a week ago. I think I am addicted to sleep. I have basically figured out (through a not-so-detailed experiment) that if I lay down in my room, there’s nothing I can do to get myself up until I smell dinner. I kinda wish I was one of those guys who could draw real well. It was kinda cool, me and Wendy sat in Bible class towards the end today and drew all this wacky stuff that came to mind… It’s kinda sorry that I can’t do that on my own. I guess I get more creative when I get in a comedic mood (well at least when it comes to drawing), and the only time I get into that mood is when I’m around people trying to get them to laugh. You know, it was weird how me and Wendy really palled around today. I usually don’t say I a word to her at school in the halls or at lunch… hmm… that’s weird. Well at least I’ve got friends now and I won’t be following her around or anything tomorrow. I get like that when I don’t have friends: someone will notice me and I’ll be hooked to em til they either get annoyed to death or they eventually die out. Not to mention the history behind me and Wendy… *nearly faints and dies*… that ought not be gotten near again. But she’s cool I guess. I accidentally made a sort of cutting remark about Diana today in front of all these kids. They a non-existent undertone from what I said and they asked me if I “really hated her that much”… got me kinda depressed. If only I had used another name. it was only in joke, you know. With my luck she’ll find out and ask me tomorrow in consumer math: the only time she seems to ever talk to me anymore. I won’t get into that business… it will stay. I can’t handle people who are one thing one day and one thing the next. It’s worse when the “changing interval” is less than a day, and THE worst when it comes down to under an hour. I am convinced that I live with a bunch of bipoles, and it gets hard to deal with. Gets to the point when you just wanna shut up because you don’t know what they’re gonna say back to you and you don’t really wanna know cause they’re cool to everyone else but you, so it’s not worth the expended breath. Course I’m like the touchiest guy in the world, so… all this from my brain. People don’t need to give me the thumbs up, but they shouldn’t PURPOSELY give me the thumbs down only to see my reaction. It’s like sadism toward the human confidence. If you wanna get people to generally hate you, DO THAT. Wow I probably sound pretty depressed, well I’m not, I’m just going at it. Sometimes I don’t want to talk at all when I’m outside this protective cover I’ve found at school and at home. The world is really cruel to people sometimes. Seems like it’s the people who claim they’re saving the world who cut it down.